Evil
Usually I’m this happy, energetic and excited person. I even get excited about my job and project I work on. One day in the month I feel so crappy and I want to cry and I have to be careful not to yell at people. I get angry, jealous and unreasonable for every little thing and treat people I like in a shitty way. I feel I hate people that I love and I feel that my life is over and I’m this unaccomplished person that not going to get anywhere. Then I feel bad and I start crying. This is only for one day and the next day I’m back to happy, loving me. I wish I know the chemical in my body that create these mood swings. I’ll do a lot of exercise and try to eat balanced and healthy. I almost hang up on one of my good friends last night. This little evil inside me wakes up every month and I have to fight with her/him. I have a feeling the little evil is a male, the aggressive, obnoxious and arrogant one. He keeps telling me that I’m not good enough. Well I had a big fight with him last night and even though I kind of lost at the end and cried in bed, I managed to make sure that my poor friend is not offended.
posted by Marjan @ 7:53 AM
21 Comments:
At 7:03 PM ,
Anonymous said...
bipolar?
At 9:16 PM ,
Unknown said...
LOL, you could try what Smeagole did: "Go away and never come back!!" 3 times now!
At 10:12 AM ,
The Tough Guy said...
That is called, I believe, lack of confidence and that little evil which is found inside of me off and on as well, as you mentioned, tries to convince you that you’re not good at this and that. So I think a self-discipline program would help. Try it or wait until I finish the trial and let you know. One more thing: A good companion is a huge help. But your problem, as I remember I read once, is you can’t trust and love people easily. Remember Basic Instinct? That’s what Catherine says at the end of the movie but eventually admits that she has to care about somebody ‘cause this road is so rough to drive in individually.
At 7:43 AM ,
Anonymous said...
دختر پر انرژي چرا ديگه فارسي نمي نويسي؟ چرا؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
why???????
محسن
At 3:57 PM ,
Anonymous said...
PMS? Well that's normal, you should know that!
At 3:52 AM ,
Anonymous said...
It called PMS.
At 2:36 AM ,
Unknown said...
have you ever watched the tv series "lost"?
At 5:10 PM ,
Anonymous said...
DO you have any other thoughts that do not include you and your feelings? Why are you used to do this? I bet many find it cute, since you are cute yourself, but the things that you write about are worthless. You are not a little girl, but act like one, at least in your bloggs. Both of your farsi and english blogs are full of your daily expereinces with feelings that any other being could have. Can't you look at the world outsie of you? What is the use of sharing your toilet habbits, detox storeis, and your crying, or ruuing for marathon? I used to look at your blog from time to time, specially after your separation from hossein I thought you will grow and become a real woman. get rid of these nonesense that you call blogging, and share the meaningful part of you.
At 12:20 PM ,
Anonymous said...
salam marjan
khobi ?
kheili vaghte nisti . mitonam hads bezanam chera nisti
man intor fek mikonam ke har chizio ke shoro mikoni ye modat anjam midi bad bikhial mishi va velesh mikoni . albate man khodam ham hamintoram ama dar morede to fek mikonam yekam shadidtare ;)
ama dalayele man
1) doiidano bikhial shodi ;)
2) farsi neveshtano bikhial shodi
3) hala ham engilisi neveshtano bikhial shodi
4) daem mahale kareto avaz mikoni o kare jadid shoro mikoni
5) va chan ta chize dighe ke hala jash inja nis benevisam
6 ) sharmande ke farsi neveshtam aghe mikhastam engilisi benevisam masrafe sookhtam ziad mishod nemidonam khabar dari ya na benzin shamie bandi shodeh ;)
7) good luck
At 2:59 PM ,
Anonymous said...
I believe you write these things to get attention. I have known many Iranian women/little spoiled girls who pretend to be sad and unhappy to get other people's sympathy and they usually do get away with it. I actually think you are a calculative, deceiving person who laughs at those who believe her. Unfortunately, I've seen many like you. Grow up.
At 9:24 AM ,
Anonymous said...
To 'anonymous':
First of all, if you're going to criticize someone, at least have the balls to leave your name.
Secondly, why is she obligated to write about anything other than she does? 'Share the meaningful part of you' -- what's that supposed to mean? Her personal life is just that -- hers. If she doesn't want to share it, then she doesn't want to. End of story. You make this big assumption that just because she doesn't write about super personal things that she's vapid -- I guarantee you that is not the case at all.
Maybe you should be less nosey and voyueristic, and if you don't like what she writes about than don't read her blogs -- simple as that.
At 9:28 AM ,
Anonymous said...
Very mature, you censored my previous comment. If you don't want to publish it, I hope you at least read it.
At 9:00 AM ,
Anonymous said...
Hopefully whenever you decide to come back, you will prove to be reborn. Not as "loos" and selfish as you appear to be on your blog. We all have are own shortcomings and are capable of change. Don't give up! Just try to come back stronger, spiritually richer and more independent (less self-centred as well)! I'm saying these things as a fellow human being cause I need an overhaul myself... Take care.
At 1:22 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Well,try taking sertraline. It helps you get balanced.
At 11:15 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Well, I am the 5th anonymous comment writer.
If I don't introduce myself it is because she does not know me. I am reader of blogs and that is all that matters. If someone is writing a weblog then she or he has accepted to be exposed to other people's opinions as well. It does not matter who I am, and if she want to communicate, then she can ask me questions or answer my comments. You James... don't have to be Marjan's advocate.
Reading blogs is not being voyeuristic or nosey, unless writing a blog means that one is an exhibitionist. So please don't use the words that are not related to the subject to defend the blog writer. The readers of blogs can have opinions and mine was what I said. The meaningful part of us is the grown up person that is able to separate feelings and thoughts, and I suggested that Marjan could use her mature side instead of sharing the daily stuff or feelings that are simply feelings. Why do you have a problem with that? Apparently she is not interested in my comment, so why do you care? The tone of your comment is hostile. Why are you accusing me of having no balls? Angry that someone dares to criticize Marjan?
By saying "end of story" the story of Marjan's not having meaningful things to share does not end. It ends when she finds the balls to GET RID OF THE CUTE.
At 11:31 PM ,
Marjan said...
I really enjoy being CUTE! This is who I am and i'm not planning to change. :)
At 10:43 AM ,
Anonymous said...
Good for you! Hossein's stupidity has influenced you big time!!
At 6:18 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Dear Anonymous n0.5,
I'm just curious to know what you're doing here at all, if you're looking for something profound. I come here expecting it to be the way it is. It is like watching a nonsensical show for the heck of it; to get one's mind off the serious stuff in life. The writer of the blog doesn't seem to be an intellectual and that's who she is. Just look at the number of her readers: I don't think most people are looking for deep stuff anyways. However, I do like your response to this present or previous boyfriend. What you're saying is very up to the point. Not your last comment though. There must have been some similarity in the first place otherwise the two birds wouldn't have flocked together at all. No one's influence was rubbing off on the other...
At 9:53 AM ,
Anonymous said...
Ok, my last comment here and for the kind one who responded nicely.
First of all the influence comment is not mine. I wrote twice and the second one was for James something who was really rude and out of it. I read what Marjan writes because I have seen in the past that she has a very good potential of not being shallow. Is it bad to encourage people to be better? Reading blogs is like watching TV. You are not obligated to do them, but if you choose to do so, you can expect better things. of course, if I change the channel when I see something that I don't like, but if it used to be my favorite channel or program I would take the time to at least ask why. The same with reading blogs. The writer of this blog like is entitled to be whoever she wants to be and write whatever she want to write. But sometimes sharing ideas like what I had to say could hurt a bit, but at the same time help to see what we usually forget to see, and that is becoming non original and vulgar (and vulgar means too ordinary for those who want to get pissed and attack me again).
You are right. I will not read Marjan's blog again, or if I do and she writes the same boring things I would not come back or leave comments ever again. To some people easy stuff is not refreshing, and I am among those people. Unfortunately to many, this is fun and my only hope was that Marjan, an Iranian, a woman, would not be among them.
Thanks for communicating civilizedly:)
At 9:44 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Dear Anonymous Nr. 5,
(I bet you never thought anyone would be calling you that :) ), I enjoyed reading your response so much so that I was about to leave this comment using my blog name hoping that you would take a look at my musings and leave me a comment, but for fear of having all these readers click on my name, I refrained from doing so. I'm one of those who prefers to remain "anonymous", but to a few "electos." In any case, thanks for the nice, and, as you put it, "civilized" response and all the best.
At 11:35 PM ,
Anonymous said...
period?
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